5 replies to this topic

[Aryndil]

Yeah, so my good friend Cheeseball IV and I decided yesterday to make a 101 slightly unknown facts about one of, if not the most brutally spiffy character in Tolkien's legendarium. I'm hoping to rival the LotR diaries with this one, so I'm getting the five or ten that receive the best feedback illustrated by a seasoned cartoonist friend of mine.

So do tell me the 5 or 10 facts you liked the best, m'kay?

So, without much further ado, I present: 101 Amazing Facts About Túrin Turambar

1. Gurthang killed Morgoth without being chipped. Gurthang broke when Túrin impaled himself on it.

2. Túrin made Nienna cry.

3. Reason Túrin was around by the time of Dagor Dagorath: Mandos was too afraid to let him pass through his halls.

4. Ever wondered what was on the islands outside Valinor that prevented the Elven sailors from getting through? Yeah, a hungry Túrin.

5. Túrin Turambar is the real reason Tom Bombadil has borders.

6. Mormegil is why the Entwives are gone.

7. Túrin Turambar passed the Paths of the Dead - and went back in to find one of his missing shoelaces.

8. At Helm's Deep, the Huorns killed 7. Túrin, hiding in the forest, killed the rest.

9. The Fire of Isengard at Hornburg wasn't gunpowder - it was Túrin's spit on a vial.

10. Legolas could tell a sparrow apart from a finch a league off. Túrin could, a league off, kill it, cook it and eat it by glaring.

11. Turambar can climb the Pelóri.

12. Túrin has only bathed once. People blame the filth in Lake Ivrin on the Orcs, but Túrin knows better.

13. Mormegil ate the One Ring.

14. Turambar once drank three bottles and two glasses of Dorwinion's strongest. He beat Legolas in three consecutive archery contests afterwards.

15. Túrin sunk Númenor.

16. The Necromancer of Dol Guldur is Túrin in disguise.

17. Mormegil can outsing Sauron.

18. Túrin is the reason Nessa doesn't have a job.

19. Turambar hunts Oromë.

20. Túrin pushed Glorfindel.

21. Mormegil poked Sauron's Eye.

22. Turambar has the Palantír of Osgiliath.

23. Túrin swam to Ulmo's house.

24. Mormegil stepped on Ungoliant.

25. Eärendil didn't kill any dragons at the War of Wrath. He tied Túrin to the prow and rammed them.

26. Túrin drank the last drops of Old Winyards.

27. Upon his birth, the Doom of the Noldor was renamed to Túrin's Elf Hunt.

28. Turambar can out-eat Pippin.

29. Mormegil knows Mandos' future.

30. Túrin is wiser than Olórin and more cunning than Sauron.

31. Vairë started to weave the account of Túrin Turambar's merits in First Age 463. She's not done yet.

32. Turambar's garden is nicer than Yavanna's.

33. Túrin made Oropher abandon Amon Lanc.

34. The Five Istari arranged a beard competition. Túrin shaved himself and won.

35. Míriel left Finwë for Túrin.

36. Túrin put Fëanor's spirit out.

37. Agaerwen tripped Gollum.

38. The Witchking of Angmar fears Túrin.

39. Túrin once forgot to brush his teeth for a week. That was the creation of the Black Breath.

40. Mormegil knocked Bilbo out at the Battle of Five Armies.

41. Gorthol once beat Oromë in a chariot race. His trail was later known as The Anduin.

42. Turambar's house is made from Ents.

43. Morgoth is Túrin's love child.

44. Túrin destroyed Beleriand.

45. Gorthol tore down Utumno.

46. Manwë rents Taniquetil from Túrin.

47. Túrin made the Lammoth shut up.

48. Agaerwen knows where Maglor is.

49. Túrin has Mithril underwear.

50. Mormegil has his own set of keys to Angband.

51. Turambar is responsible for the Dead Marshes.

52. Túrin tripped Fingolfin.

53. Mormegil sacked Eregion.

54. Túrin Whithered the Heath.

55. Turambar awoke the Elves.

56. Mormegil wrote the Silmarillion.

57. Agaerwen put the Dwarves to sleep.

58. Turambar sweats Miruvor.

59. Túrin is Morgoth's PR manager

60. Mormegil shaves in Galadriel's Mirror.

61. Turambar destroyed the Two Lamps.

62. Túrin can name all of Aragorn's ancestors. In Entish.

63. Agaerwen knows Dwarvish.

64. Turambar knows the truth about Dwarf women.

65. Túrin evicted the Dwarves from Khazad-dûm.

66. Agaerwen made the Silmarils

67. Mormegil made Fëanor repent.

68. Thorongil's real name is Túrin.

69. The Mouth of Sauron is Turambar and Nienor Níniel's child.

70. Túrin is the real father of Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir.

71. Turambar once got diarrhea while visiting the Entwives' gardens. He created the Dark Plague and was the origin of the gardens' apt new name, the Brown Lands.

72. Agaerwen beat Helm Hammerhand in a fistfight.

73. Only Turambar knows where the Mouth of Sauron went.

74. Túrin Turambar has more names and titles than Aragorn or Gandalf.

75. Gorthol can count the Unnumbered Tears.

76. Agaerwen knows the Mouth of Sauron's name.

77. Turambar bred the Olog-hai.

78. Mormegil was the first to grow pipeweed.

79. Túrin splashed Ossë.

80. Agaerwen created the Black Uruks.

81. Gorthol knows where Boromir's body ended up.

82. Turambar beat the vile statues of Cirith Ungol in a staring competition.

83. Túrin is the Firstborn.

84. Agaerwen emptied the Empty Lands to the East of Middle-earth.

85. Turambar can tear down Orthanc.

86. Gorthol halved the Halflings.

87. Túrin taught the Quendi to speak.

88. Agaerwen beat Gimli's count.

89. The Drúedain hide from Túrin.

90. Gorthol can make Galvorn.

91. Túrin makes clay figures out of Mithril.

92. Turambar divided Arnor.

93. Agaerwen drowned Drogo Baggins.

94. The Blue Wizards didn't stay in the East. Túrin ate them.

95. Túrin killed Isildur.

96. Turambar spied on the Hill of Spies.

97. Túrin broke the Angainor.

98. Agaerwen killed Steward Cirion's messengers to Eorl.

99. Mortality was Eru's attempt at limiting Túrin's powers. He failed miserably as Mandos was afraid of letting him in.

100. Gorthol made the One Ring. It was his gift to Annatar the Lord of Gifts.

101. Túrin Turambar is Herumor of The New Shadow. The real reason Tolkien didn't finish the book, is that he couldn't find any logical way of overthrowing Túrin.

[Beren IV]

Um...... why?

[Aryndil]

Because Túrin rocks. Why else?

[draugaer]

Lol this is pretty funny, I'm guessing it takes its inspiration from the random facts about Chuck Norris?

my favorites:

Túrin Turambar is the real reason Tom Bombadil has borders.

Ever wondered what was on the islands outside Valinor that prevented the Elven sailors from getting through? Yeah, a hungry Túri

Túrin has Mithril underwear.

[Rinion]

Why is everyone addicted to Chuck Norris at the moment? Even at my school, the team houses have put up banners claiming Chuck Norris is their mascot. Wierd.

[Aryndil]

Chuck's a fad.

Besides, I don't like him, but the facts about him and Vin Diesel and Mr. T are pretty fun. They inspired me, but you can see that EVERY fact here is LotR related, and are about Legendarium lore. You wouldn't find "Túrin once went to the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands." on my list