[Sam]

Has anyone here ever read Farmer Giles of Ham, and if so did you like it?

I personally did not but oh well.

[av_nefardec]

I've yet to read it, unfortunately.

I want to read Bilbo's Last Song and Tree and Leaf.

[EKen132]

Farmer Giles of Ham?

eh I made a personal promise never to read a book with a place named "Ham".

no jk... saw it in a bookstore once. Is it good?

[Sam]

what about the Smith of Wooton Major???Anyone read that?

[Black Op]

Could people be so kind as to give us summaries of these stories (since I know jack about them)?

[Sam]

I will be that kind one...

Far away, in a wild part of the land, lived a giant. Now this giant was rather dumb, and did not see or hear very well. He would usually go out for walks in the countryside, doing unmeasurable damage without even knowing it; stepping on cattle, crushing trees, and so on. One day, while going on a walk, the giant realized the sun was setting, and that he should be getting home for supper (especially since he left his best pot on the fire), when he realized he was lost. Wandering aimlessly, he stumbled deeper and deeper away from his home, and closer and closer to Giles’ village.

Now Giles’ dog Garm (who could talk, like all the other animals in this story) was out running about at night, when he saw the giant coming near. He ran back home to his master screaming HELP! HELP! When he got home, he told Giles’ about the giant. The farmer didn’t care, until he realized that the giant was on his property, and that he had just eaten his favorite cow. Loading his Blunderbuss (a primitive gun) he shot the giant right in the nose. Thinking it was a large wasp of some kind, the giant let out a yelp of pain, and stumbled in the other direction. Eventually he found his way home, but the fire had burned a large hole in the bottom of his pot.

By that time, Garm had told the whole village about what was happening, and those that were brave enough to come outside saw Giles scare the giant away. Giles was a hero. News of the encounter spread like fire all over the country, even to the King. Now wanting to get involved, the king sent Giles a letter of gratitude, along with an old sword.

Meanwhile, up north in the wild lands, the local dragons were complaining about the bare surrounding lands, and how no cattle lived there. When the giant came to visit them (mainly to borrow their pot), he said how great his trip south was, and how there was so many cattle and food and all. When they asked about the humans there, he said that there were no humans, and nothing stopping him besides a few pesky wasps. This caught the fancy of a rather rich and hungry dragon named Chrysophylax.

He left his home, and slowly moved south, hitting all the villages in his path, eating their cattle and people and all. The people of Ham realized the dragon was heading straight for them, so they started begging Giles to go kill him. One day, while looking at his sword, it shot right out of the sheath. Taking it to the parson, he was told that it was the ancient sword Tailbiter used by a legendary knight who slayed dragons. It was said that the sword would not stay in its sheath if a dragon was within five kilometers of it. But Giles didn’t want to go, so he kept hesitating. After many days of begging, he ran out of excuses to say, and said all right. Trying to delay his fate for a bit longer, he said “but I cant go without any armor”. But it was no use. The blacksmith made him some makeshift armor, so he departed with his dog and his horse.

Going north near to the village where Chrysophylax last destroyed, Giles could not find the dragon. Deciding to turn back and make up some story he turned a sharp corner, and there was the dragon, sleeping. After an exchange of words, the dragon tried to get away, but the farmer was too quick, striking his wing with Tailbiter. The dragon, feeling pain, started running (he could not fly cause of his injured wing) as fast as he could. Giles gave chase on his horse, following close behind. The dragon started getting tired, and slowed down. After a while he totally collapsed, right in the middle of Ham. All the people saw him and gathered around. Chrysophylax begged for his life. “ I am very rich, I will pay for the damage I caused”. An argument broke out between the townspeople, over how the money should be distributed. After a while, it was decided that they would let the dragon go free, and he would go get all his money and bring it all to Giles within seven days. Otherwise the farmer would come after him and kill him.

Now news of the incoming jewels and gold reached the king, and he decided to personally visit Giles. When he arrived, he said that all the money was to be given to him, so that he could distribute it fairly among all the towns damaged, and Giles would get a reward. But the king planned to keep the rest. Now this was not to his liking, but nevertheless, Giles agreed upon it.

Seven days came and passed, and the people of Ham wondered if they would ever get their money. The king, too, got impatient, and sent a letter to Giles saying that he was to accompany the knights dispatched to get the gold themselves and kill the dragon. Traveling north, they reached the dragons lair. Out he came swooping down, but seeing Tailbiter he swerved to the side and sat by Giles. After trying to bargain, Chrysophylax was told to go inside his lair and bring out his gold. After three trips he said hat was all of it, and so they began their journey back. The knights who accompanied them up got tired of waiting and left early, but got lost along the way and never returned. The gold was strapped on to the dragons back, so he could not escape. Along the way there, Giles stopped at a village where he hired 12 boys to come with him, promising good wages. The boys guarded the dragon (who was tied down) at night, and carried some of the baggage. Eventually they arrived back home.

Since his knights had not returned, the king thought the expedition perished, but when news reached him of Giles return, he sent a messenger telling Giles to bring the gold to the capital. However, the messenger returned alone, saying that Giles refused to come. After many other messengers came back with the same answer, the furious king gathered all the rest of his men and decided to pay a little visit to Ham.

Arriving at the bridge into ham, the king was confronted by Giles. The kings men were ordered to arrest Giles for disobeying orders, but out popped the dragon from under the bridge. All the kings men ran away, and the king was sent back to the capital, without a single penny. Now Farmer Giles was elected king, and he moved the capital to ham, where the 12 boys were made leaders, and although the king tried to gather some men to take back his throne, he always failed, because everyone love farmer Giles (who had become loved by all. The dragon lived for a while in ham, but eventually moved back north. Giles’ kingdom lived prosperously for a long time.



thank you for your time

[Black Op]

Ahh... thank you Ph4ntom. You shall be rewarded somehow.

[Sam]

Glad i could be a help:)

[EKen132]

Well now it's not really worth reading the story. That was a pretty long and detailed description.

[Black Op]

True true... but I like to spoil virtually every book I read and every movie I watch you see. Plus I bet the only place I'll find that book is on eBay, which I avoid.

[Sam]

you can buy it at barnesandnoble.com for $5.00 american dollars

[Caedus]

Personally, I really like Farmer Giles of Ham! True, it's not the great story (), but it is the style in which it was written. Just hilarious. I can recommend it, when you like a good laugh. Just don't try to be serious when reading it.

@Ph4ntom:

I read Smith, and I think it is not that great. Well it's ok, I guess, but it is a strange piece of work. I can tell you more about it, if you like.

[Sam]

Smith of Wooton Major? I just re-read it a little bit ago and found it to be better than the last time I read it. How come you did not like it?

[Caedus]

First I must admit, this work was very well written (style and such), but for me the story was not captivating. I find it a bit vague => about the elves and their battles, their land and their king & queen. There is very little explained. That's why I didn't enjoy it as much as "Farmer".

[Joseph_Swede]

for some reason farmer giles of ham remindes me of the hobbit, maybe its just because of the style its written in though...

[Frumpus]

I FULLY recommend Farmer Giles of Ham and Smith of Wooton Major. Iliked Giles better by far - it IS hilarious,and yes, Smith is mysterious, but that's what I liked about it. It's about Faery, but not necessarily about ME.

I also liked Leaf by Niggle, but it's wholly different again.

I liked his translations of Sir Orfeo, but especially Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. They make me want to learn Old English to read Beowulf in original form.

[Sam]

I fully agree with you Frumpus. Gawain and the Green Knight was a good book. Have not had a chance to get Leaf by Niggle though.

[Gilluin]

Yes, it's a great little read!